Tuesday, June 5, 2012
Sunday, July 10, 2011
I have found that in removing the layers and in getting really down to those deeply hidden places that God continues to be gracious. There was no condemnation for the things I found hidden away. I found there were things that have had to be grieved. That was hard. There were things that needed to be confessed and some things that I needed to work through repentance and forgiveness.
I was surprised to find the intensity of the emotions and feelings for things so long locked away.
It really took me by surprise still feel things so many years later to be processing things I chose to stuff away rather than deal with at the time. I found there to also be some hopes and dreams that might yet be possible someday and I have taken them out of the trunk and allowed them to breathe - they are now acknowledged between me and God and I am content wait patiently to see what He may do. I fully understand that at some point they may also need to be grieved. I'm ok with that. There is no question in my mind as to Gods ability but it may or may not be part of His plan. I trust Him completely.
I have found that I am getting much more free. That in dealing with these thing I am able to do some things that I previously could not do. For example things that reminded me of things in the trunk. Things that triggered the memories were avoided. I am able to talk about the process but I am not yet able to talk about the details. Some are to precious and some are too painful. For now they are between me and Jesus and I feel no pressure to move beyond that place of understanding and safety.
You probably have your own secret places. Just between you and me - the best thing I could have done was to let Jesus come into them. I pray you will have courage to begin your own journey to freedom.
I don't know if months from now or in a year or two - I will write another post to tell you that I discovered even more secret places. I hope I have gotten to the bottom of it all - but who knows I have been quite the stuffer for most of my life. Maybe if its Gods plan some of those things may have happy endings and I will be able to share those in some future post. In the mean time there is no shortage of things to write about. Here is the link to my daily devotional . You may find it helpful on your journey.
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Today I had a whole new perspective on where the secret place is.
I was asked recently about my hopes and dreams - I was unable to give an answer and that has bothered me for the last several days. So I have been pondering. Why don't I have an answer and why does the question bother me.
I realized today as I was praying and pondering that there was a place in my heart that I have kept locked up and hidden. A place of secret dreams that I had chosen to let die because I came to realize that I could not have them and have my relationship with the Lord. My relationship with the Lord won out. Yet it was a great dream to let go of on my part and it was tangled up into much of my hopes and other dreams. So I locked them all away. Today I realized that that hidden place in my own heart is the "Secret Place"where the Lord longs to meet me in a deep way.
So today I allowed the Lord into that secret place. He walked around the place with me with out any condemnation. He allowed me to grieve the loss and helped me to bury it in him.
He reminded me of the following are verses and they have been a comfort.
And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life.
I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds.
I admit I still feel quite shaken by the experience - and my day is a bit off kilter. Perhaps the Lord has his own secret places where he longs to take us. Today I invited him into a long hidden secret place in my own heart. I'm sorry I kept it from him so long and I am thankful that he did not treat it as a trivial thing even though it was not pure and was tainted by sin and quite twisted. Yet he acknowledged that it was a series of sacrifices that I made to follow him.
So it is done - I've destroyed the last tangible reminder of those dreams.
Lord, Thank you for coming into to my secret place, thank you for acknowledging the losses, allowing me to grieve and for burying the last remains in you. Cleanse me and make that place pure and holy.
Come meet me in that secret place and allow me to dream new dreams with you.
If you are reading this I challenge you to allow the Lord into your own secret places.
Friday, August 28, 2009
Or to be praying for a group of people and to see hearts begin to change.
Last night I was at a meeting, people were trying to work things out. Clearly there were those who needed to repent and they rather than repent kept trying to justify their actions or would expound on their value and service. We were getting close but not really getting all the way to true repentance. We did not know what to do and rather than just pay lip service to the verse that says. " If my people who are called by my name will humble them selves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways then I would heal their land." Its what I would call a refrigerator verse - found often on magnets. If we really believed that prayer made a difference than we would do it. If we really would turn from our wicked ways. It is so easy to say - that part is for those really bad evil sinners... not for me. It is for me and you, for our complacency, our lack of prayer, lack of courage to speak up for others, pointing fingers, being to busy to have time for our relationship with the Lord. The list can go on and on. It is so easy for us to point out the failures and sins of others. We spend too much time covering up and justifying. Its time to humble our selves, take responsibility for our stuff.
Anyway last night a miracle happened - people prayed and something changed and there was weeping and repenting. People who had wronged others sincerely repented and those who had been wronged forgave.
It was the kind of thing I have read about in books about revivals only I've never really seen it happen before my very eyes. It was honestly amazing.
Another miracle has taken place over the past 3-4 week. .
My friends unborn baby was diagnosed with Turner Syndrome. They told her the baby would need heart surgery at birth and would likely have many other problems due to a missing x chromosome if it even was able to live at all. We started praying about the situation, speaking life and hope, praying that the baby would be born perfect with out any defects. I am happy to say that baby Emma has arrived and is doing great. She did not need any surgery and seems to be normal in every way. Thank you Jesus.
Our God is so awesome.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
"After this I will return and rebuild David's fallen tent. It's ruins I will rebuild that the remnant of men may seek the Lord and all the Gentiles who bear my name says the Lord who does these things that have been known for ages." (Acts 15:16-18)
If you search David's Fallen Tent on the internet you get all kinds of things. Some folks take it to be the literal return of Israel to their land, some the rebuilding of the temple. For some it is about taking the gospel to the Jew.
I don't pretend to have it figured out at this point. In my quiet time the Lord keeps bringing this passage up. I have a distinct feeling like there is some thing he wants me to see or understand. I feel like it is somehow a key that will unlock some revelation for me.
I am kind of wondering if David's Hut might not be the restoration of David's amazing kingdom and the Temple but perhaps what God wants to restore in all of us is that place of intimacy. That time together out alone in the shepherd's hut. David spent so much time out tending the sheep all by himself that he developed a deep intimacy with the Lord. Perhaps we are looking for something big and flashy when God is looking for a return to intimacy with Him.
"I will rebuild that the remnant of men may seek the Lord and all the Gentiles who bear my name says the Lord" I will rebuild the remnant of men who like David are out in there huts seeking him, praying, worshiping, doing their daily work. David was fairly unique in his day in that he had an abiding, personal relationship with God. He knew God would be with him as he faced Golliath because God had been with him as he faced lions and bears. The Lord calls David a man after my own heart. David just loved being with God he was not busy trying to become great, or important - he was just a guy that took care of sheep and got to know God.
For myself, I find that I have grown to love that place of intimacy with the Lord. I spent many years being busy for the Lord but not really spending time with him. In the last year I have had it in my heart to turn that around. That my priority would be my intimate relationship with the Lord, not to develop a ministry or a name . I have made choices to get up each morning before my household and spend it with the Lord. I felt like the Lord asked me an searching question recently. Would I be ok, if I never accomplished anything of significance by the worlds standards but could make a difference by kingdom standards. Would I be ok with just singing my songs for him, doing my art for him, writing for him, living a quiet life working with my hand touching the lives around me. So I have been mulling that around in my head and I'm ok with that. So I am writing this today a simply an over flow of my quiet time. It is posted here for God's pleasure alone. Because I lost by Bible with a concordance and had to come search this out using www.BibleGateway.com Will it be read by others - who knows, will it touch others lives - only God knows. This is just a convenient journal of my discoveries for the moment. For now I know I want to be part of that remnant of people who have a intimate shepherds hut relationship with the Lord.
Ok - now there is more.... That they may possess the remnant of Edom and of all the nations that are called by My name.
So who is the remnant of Edom? Edom was an enemy of Israel. According to Wikipedia "Edom (Hebrew: אֱדוֹם, Modern Edom Tiberian ʾĔḏôm ; "red") is a name given to Esau in the Hebrew Bible, as well as to the nation descending from him." Esau gave up his birthright for a pot of stew. How does one possess those who care more for their immediate desires than for their birthright. The Lord's call extends to all of us and we have to make a choice to know him. I can only guess that perhaps those David's hut people will be able to influence the folks that call them self by His name but are more interested in their immediate desires than to really know the Lord. Perhaps the out working of the hut of intimacy is that one gains the ability to possess for the kingdom, people who are estranged from God or who's relationship is shallow. God is rebuilding a people who know Him on an intimate level by spending time with just Him, not to get something, or to be something. I will rebuild (that place of intimacy)... that the remnant of men may seek the Lord.
As we each allow Him to rebuild that hut of intimacy with him, with out our striving it will effect those around us and cause others to seek the Lord. When the leaders and warriors of our time quake in fear at the Goliath's of our day will we like David arrive on the scene with food from the father amazed to see the greatest of the day are confounded by the ememy. Will we arrive with our sling and stones and a belief that even this Goliath is not to big for our God.
Those who do wickedly against the covenant he shall corrupt with flattery; but the people who know their God shall be strong, and carry out great exploits.
Monday, August 24, 2009
I love David Wilkerson's daily devotional. I am amazed at how often it speaks to my heart and my situation. I highly recommend it to you. Today he wrote about what characteristics were found in the Remnant so I am posting the link to that devotional here. http://davidwilkersontoday.blogspot.com/2009/08/are-you-among-7000.html
You can also subscribe to receive his devotional in your e-mail at
Friday, April 17, 2009
Here is the YouTube video of my song, I Simply Come.
I hope it touches your heart.
There are many days that I am not much of a prayer warrior but more of a child who loves to spend time with my Father. I Simply Come - I pray that you will take time to spend with the Father too.
You may want to know about another blog that I have started to encourage people to spend time praying for our nation. http://usa-wall-of-prayer.blogspot.com/