Monday, January 26, 2009

Falling Short of my own Exectations.

When I am afraid, I will trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust;
I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to me? Psalm 56:3-4
I do not easily share my troubles. In prayer this Sunday the message from the Lord was that He was remodeling and putting in doors that people could see through. I want to be a door upon which the seeking, the hurting, the lost are drawn to knock. I hope when they look through the door the see Jesus.

I have had a hard week. I made a big math mistake with my bank account. Which makes the amount that I need to trust God for this week about double my normal need.
This issue for me is not about if God can or will provide. I know he will. The issue has been my own failure and having to admit my weakness in this area. I don't suppose this is a new revelation for my Lord who created my inmost being. I have struggled a lot with discouragement, and frustration with myself, and a little self pity just for good measure.
One of my prayer partners pointed out to me yesterday - that I am good at extending grace to others but she notice that it is hard for me to extend that same measure of grace to myself. She was so right. I'd prefer to pull myself up by my bootstraps rather than fall upon the grace of God. Forgive me Lord.

I suppose it gives me a better understanding of Paul when he says in Romans 7:19 (The Message)

17-20But I need something more! For if I know the law but still can't keep it,
and if the power of sin within me keeps sabotaging my best intentions,
I obviously need help! I realize that I don't have what it takes. I can will it, but I can't do it. I decide to do good, but I don't really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. My decisions, such as they are, don't result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time.


It is good for me to see the great hero's of the faith did not live up to their own expectations any more than I do. Maybe today just like me you need to hear the solution. So keep reading in Romans 8.

The Solution Is Life on God's Terms
1-2With the arrival of Jesus, the Messiah, that fateful dilemma is resolved.
Those who enter into Christ's being-here-for-us no longer have to live under a continuous, low-lying black cloud. A new power is in operation. The Spirit of life in Christ, like a strong wind, has magnificently cleared the air, freeing you from a fated lifetime
of brutal tyranny at the hands of sin and death.

3-4God went for the jugular when he sent his own Son.
He didn't deal with the problem as something remote and unimportant.
In his Son, Jesus, he personally took on the human condition, entered the disordered
mess of struggling humanity in order to set it right once and for all. The law code,
weakened as it always was by fractured human nature, could never have done that.

The law always ended up being used as a Band-Aid on sin instead of a deep healing of it. And now what the law code asked for but we couldn't deliver is accomplished as we, instead of redoubling our own efforts, simply embrace what the Spirit is doing in us.

5-8Those who think they can do it on their own end up obsessed with measuring
their own moral muscle but never get around to exercising it in real life.
Those who trust God's action in them find that God's Spirit is in them—living and breathing God! Obsession with self in these matters is a dead end; attention to God leads us out into the open, into a spacious, free life. Focusing on the self is the opposite of focusing on God.
Anyone completely absorbed in self ignores God, ends up thinking more about self than God. That person ignores who God is and what he is doing. And God isn't pleased at being ignored.

So for me the last few days have been about where I will focus - will I focus on myself and my problems or will I resist that and focus on Jesus. For me I have spent time in the word and in prayer and in worship to allow the Lord to heal this broken part that has come to the surface and to my attention this past week. It has been there for a long time - I must fall in to the arms of grace and accept that I really can't even on my best days make it on my own.
This is probably not my best or most creative post - but I hope if you are having a hard day that it will help you as it has helped me to write about my journey of the past few days.
The following verse has been a great comfort to me during this time.

2 Corinthians 12:9-11 (New International Version)

9But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 10That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.


When I am weak, then I am strong!
May the strength of the Lord rise up in me and in you too, friend, for truly His grace is sufficient!

Friday, January 23, 2009

Like Steak for the Dog


The Bible is a ready feast laid before us every day yet how often do we take it for granted or refuse to come to the table. Today I had this image in my head of feeding my dog steak.
My dog never refuses food - she wolfs down most anything so quickly that she hardly tastes it. To give her steak would probably be a waste of good meat. Yet Jesus lays before us a lavish feast of His word every day. I wonder how often do we settle for the scraps from someone else table.
Do we leave our Bibles gathering dust, and depend on someone else to feed us?

A story from Matthew 15 came to mind as I was pondering this image today.

22A Canaanite woman from that vicinity came to him, crying out, "Lord, Son of David, have mercy on me! My daughter is suffering terribly from demon-possession."

23Jesus did not answer a word. So his disciples came to him and urged him, "Send her away, for she keeps crying out after us."

24He answered, "I was sent only to the lost sheep of Israel."

25The woman came and knelt before him. "Lord, help me!" she said.

26He replied, "It is not right to take the children's bread and toss it to their dogs."

27"Yes, Lord," she said, "but even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their masters' table."

28Then Jesus answered, "Woman, you have great faith! Your request is granted." And her daughter was healed from that very hour.

I suppose there are a number ways one could go from this verse. Like who are the lost sheep of Israel and why was this woman not one of them. I will leave that for another time post.
What I want to focus on today is on the powerful effect of even the crumbs or scraps from the masters table had upon this womans life. This woman was not a lost sheep, she had no understanding of the law and the prophets. She was a Canaanite someone not expected to even have an understanding of faith yet she recognized the power of Jesus to heal and wanted it for her daughter. Jesus granted her request not based on her linage or even her relationship to Israel or even her understanding of the scriptures. He granted her request because she believed He could do what she had asked even though she did not deserve even the crumbs.

I alway called this story the dog lady that believed. Some of us who are part of the family of Jesus are still living like the dog lady and begging for the scraps under the masters table. When we have been accepted as children at his table.
Some of us have become content with just the crumbs when we could have so much more. When we should be walking as sons and daughters, spiritual heirs to the promises of God are content to live like the dog lady. Content to eat scraps that fall from the tables of other believers. He invites us to his table let us hope we will not be like the guests invited in the following story.

The Parable of the Great Banquet
15When one of those at the table with him heard this, he said to Jesus, "Blessed is the man who will eat at the feast in the kingdom of God."

16Jesus replied: "A certain man was preparing a great banquet and invited many guests. 17At the time of the banquet he sent his servant to tell those who had been invited, 'Come, for everything is now ready.'

18"But they all alike began to make excuses. The first said, 'I have just bought a field, and I must go and see it. Please excuse me.'

19"Another said, 'I have just bought five yoke of oxen, and I'm on my way to try them out. Please excuse me.'

20"Still another said, 'I just got married, so I can't come.'

21"The servant came back and reported this to his master. Then the owner of the house became angry and ordered his servant, 'Go out quickly into the streets and alleys of the town and bring in the poor, the crippled, the blind and the lame.'

22" 'Sir,' the servant said, 'what you ordered has been done, but there is still room.'

23"Then the master told his servant, 'Go out to the roads and country lanes and make them come in, so that my house will be full. 24I tell you, not one of those men who were invited will get a taste of my banquet.' "

God has prepared a wonderful banquet for us in his Word. Like my dog I probably don't deserve a steak dinner, I probably won't appreciate the richness of that steak dinner or the price that has been paid to make that dinner possible. Yet for me and for you it has been provided. We have been invited like the banquet guest to partake in the feast.
Will you come and eat at the masters table or will you continue to be content with the scraps from the table. The message he is that even the scraps are powerful - how much more would be able to accomplish if we were fed from the table than from the scraps.
He has called us to come.

Are you living on crumbs when you could be eating at the table?

Are you to busy with the things of this world to come to the table?

Matthew 4:4
Jesus answered, "It is written: 'Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.' "

Where has the time gone?

It has been way too long since I have posted anything. So sorry! I have gotten lost in the holidays and now it is already mid January. My best laid plans of regular posting get so easily lost. I suppose I am a creature that runs more on inspiration. When my life gets too busy inspiration seems to fly out the window. I have to make a concerted effort to allow room in my life for creativity, writing, music. There are some things that I am doing very consistently. I am practicing my piano almost daily, I am reading my bible daily, I get up to pray almost every day. For me consistency has always been a struggle. So the past year has been a lot about building some foundational daily habits. It is a victory for me to say that I am daily doing these things. I find that if I do not get those things done early in the day - they are likely to get lost in the rest of the day. So now I need to consider what other things need to be more consistent in my life. A question I need to answer is does this blogging need to have a place of higher priority and greater regularity.

I have found if you make room first for the really important stuff every thing else some how fits in around those things. The trick is determining what things are important. What things need to come first. What things were you created to accomplish. For me it is not so much making resolutions to do a particular thing but knowing that there are things like daily prayer and time in the word that help me be better able to deal with what each day holds. For me it is vital.
Piano is something I feel specifically called to master. I have a long way to go - yet to accomplish this goal I must be committed to regular daily practice. I know that while it may be difficult at this time I know by sticking with it I will reach the goal of being able to play the piano. How that may affect or change my life is yet to be seen. It has already caused one of my children to want to also learn piano. Who knows how the choices and disciples we see as important enough to make a priority today - how they will affect our live tomorrow.
So I continue to hope that no matter when someone might find them selves reading these post that they would find with in them hope for your own life in making room for the important things. For each of us those things are very different the discipline of making room in our lives for those thing is the same. What are the important things and are you making room for them. If you do not determine which things are important and then make regular time for those things you may find your self asking where has the time gone? It is not to late to get started.