Layers - More on the Secret Place

I wrote the post called the Secret Place a long while ago - only to find that there were other secret places that I could not even get to at that time. God is gracious and so patient. Stuff so deep and hidden that it has been a journey to uncover them. Little did I realize that I had only begun the journey when  I wrote the Secret Place.

I have found that in removing the layers and in getting really down to those deeply hidden places that God continues to be gracious. There was no condemnation for the things I found hidden away. I found there were things that have had to be grieved. That was hard. There were things that needed to be confessed and some things that I needed to work through repentance and forgiveness.

I was surprised to find the intensity of the emotions and feelings for things so long locked away.
It really took me by surprise still feel things so many years later to be processing things I chose to stuff away rather than deal with at the time. I found there to also be some hopes and dreams that might yet be possible someday and I have taken them out of the trunk and allowed them to breathe - they are now acknowledged between me and God and I am content wait patiently to see what He may do. I fully understand that at some point they may also need to be grieved. I'm ok with that. There is no question in my mind as to Gods ability but it may or may not be part of His plan. I trust Him completely.

I have found that I am getting much more free. That in dealing with these thing I am able to do some things that I previously could not do.  For example things that reminded me of things in the trunk. Things that triggered the memories were avoided.  I am able to talk about the process but I am not yet able to talk about the details. Some are to precious and some are too painful. For now they are between me and Jesus and I feel no pressure to move beyond that place of understanding and safety.

You probably have your own secret places. Just between you and me - the best thing I could have done was to let Jesus come into them. I pray you will have courage to begin your own journey to freedom.

I don't know if months from now or in a year or two - I will write another post to tell you that I discovered even more secret places. I hope I have gotten to the bottom of it all - but who knows I have been quite the stuffer for most of my life. Maybe if its Gods plan some of those things may have happy endings and I will be able to share those in some future post. In the mean time there is no shortage of things to write about. Here is the link to my daily devotional . You may find it helpful on your journey.

Blessings, Margot

The Secret Place

I have always thought of the Secret Place as being some place hidden in the Lord.
Today I had a whole new perspective on where the secret place is. 
I was asked recently about my hopes and dreams - I was unable to give an answer and that has bothered me for the last several days. So I have been pondering. Why don't I have an answer and why does the question bother me.

I realized today as I was praying and pondering that there was a place in my heart that I have kept locked up and hidden. A place of secret dreams that I had chosen to let die because I came to realize that I could not have them and have my relationship with the Lord. My relationship with the Lord won out. Yet it was a great dream to let go of on my part and it was tangled up into much of my hopes and other dreams. So I locked them all away.  Today I realized that that hidden place in my own heart is the "Secret Place"where the Lord longs to meet me in a deep way.

So today I allowed the Lord into that secret place. He walked around the place with me with out any condemnation. He allowed me to grieve the loss and helped me to bury it in him.
He reminded me of the following are verses and they have been a comfort.
 
Matthew 19:29
And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life.
John 12:24
I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds.

I admit I still feel quite shaken by the experience - and my day is a bit off kilter.  Perhaps the Lord has his own secret places where he longs to take us. Today I invited him into a long hidden secret place in my own heart. I'm sorry I kept it from him so long and I am thankful that he did not treat it as a trivial thing even though it was not pure and was tainted by sin and quite twisted. Yet he acknowledged that it was a series of sacrifices that I made to follow him.

So it is done - I've destroyed the last tangible reminder of those dreams.
Lord, Thank you for coming into to my secret place, thank you for acknowledging the losses, allowing me to grieve and for burying the last remains in you. Cleanse me and make that place pure and holy.
Come meet me in that secret place and allow me to dream new dreams with you.


If you are reading this I challenge you to allow the Lord into your own secret places.